The Super Bowl is fast approaching and just like the Seahawks and Broncos you have a million things to do in preparation. Location, guest list, food, prop bets, pools, squares, commercials not to miss and most importantly, beer. That is where I come in. I’ve narrowed the field to 7 situations and paired each with one of my favorite tasty brews. So join me, have a laugh, find your situation and enjoy Sully’s 7 Best Super Bowl beers.
Situation 1: Your team is in the game. Its the culmination of a great season and your team is 1 victory away from Super Bowl glory! You want a beer worthy of Super Bowl celebration. Having been in this catbird seat 5 times since my 21st birthday (because thats when I started to drink, yeah) a couple of words of advice: you want to be drunk but not too drunk. You want to straddle that line very carefully because if your team is winning you want to remember it, and if your team is losing/getting blown out you want to be able to get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible, so you forget it. To achieve this I recommend the Stone Brewery series in this order. 1st quarter 12 oz. Stone Levitations. 2nd quarter 12 oz. Stone Pale Ales. Halftime 1 22 oz. Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale. Now if you team is still in the game Stone Pale Ale until the end. If your team is victorious celebrate with Stone Ruination IPA until you pass out. If your team is getting blown out at the half, go directly to the Stone Ruination IPA, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
Situation 2: You’ve come to the party for the commercials. Football isn’t your bag, but hey the Super Bowl is culturally so much more than that. Who can forget the wardrobe malfunction or all those great commercial moments. We are never going to be swayed by Coke or Pepsi to buy one or the other because we know which one we like, but its nice of them to give us something to talk about while they try! There is a lot of game time to take up, so you are probably going to snack a bit during those boring football parts. For your enjoyment I recommend Harp Irish Lager. Light with great taste, Harp is great for drinking while eating and still strong enough to get you nice and buzzed if the commercials need inebriation to be adequately enjoyed.
Situation 3: Your teams just lost the AFC or NFC Championship game. You’re depressed, but you still made the final four, so it was a good season. You don’t much care about the game, but enjoy football, nonetheless its going to be a long day spent thinking that your team should be playing. Dull that painful, inner monologue with Pabst Blue Ribbon and lots of it. This will be me this year.
Situation 4: You don’t care about football. You don’t care about commercials. You don’t care about halftime, but you love the holiday atmosphere of the Super Bowl party. You are hanging out with your friends for the camaraderie and atmosphere. For this I recommend the Woodchuck Ciders. My favorite is the Pear, but the Granny Smith is also spectacular. They are light and crisp and will provide a jovial buzz while allowing for plenty of snacking.
Situation 5: Your significant other’s/best friend’s team is in the game and potentially beat your team to get there. You are going to hear about it all day either way and so your best chance is to get so drunk you can’t hear anything. Drink Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA for pregame, during the game, halftime, postgame and if your significant other’s/best friend’s team wins just start chugging it to drown out the annoying revelry.
Situation 6: You’ve bet heavily on the game. The outcome of the game, prop bets involving the National Anthem, who scores first, what color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach and how long this years blackout conspiracy will last. You are invested heavily, the mortage and kids college education are riding on you being right. You are so worried about losing, and your wife finding out, that you aren’t going to eat, but am going to want something too calm the nerves but not get you too drunk. The answer is easy, Guinness.
Situation 7: Your team has never been to the Super Bowl: Jaguars, Texans, Browns and Lions. Your team has never won the Super Bowl: Eagles, Bengals, Chiefs, Chargers, Seahawks, Cardinals, Vikings, Titans, Falcons and Panthers. That puts you in a category just below what I call My Friend Craig. You see My Friend Craig is a Bills fan. The Bills, for those of you unaware, famously lost 4 consecutive Super Bowls, what were the odds of THAT! If you find yourself a fan of one of these teams, sans the Seahawks in the game this year, you should be amazingly depressed. In this scenario I don’t know what to recommend. My team has WON 3 Super Bowls, not to mention my city has WON 3 World Series, 1 NBA Championship and 1 Stanley Cup since I turned 21, because thats when I started to drink, yeah. So drink whatever you want, I don’t share your pain, I can’t help you.
Enjoy the Super Bowl folks and as always drink responsibly, just remember we all define responsibly differently, but seriously, don’t drive. Go Seahawks!