Week 12 Playoff Pictures

As the Holiday season is upon us there are a myriad of movies that are associated with the plethora of various holidays we celebrate. With that in mind we channel Thanksgiving with this week’s playoff pictures! These are coming from all over, some actually based around Thanksgiving and some have just become associated with Thanksgiving, so sit back and enjoy!

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So next are the division standings. God they are a mess. Then we are going to start at the bottom of each conference and work our way to top. The ranks out of 16 are the official ranking of each team after tie breakers. Retrieved from ESPN.com.

AFC
AFC EAST
NE (10-0) BUF (5-5) NYJ (5-5) MIA (4-6)
AFC NORTH
CIN (8-2) PIT (6-4) BAL (3-7) CLE (2-8)
AFC SOUTH
IND (5-5) HOU (5-5) JAC (4-6) TEN (2-8)
AFC WEST
DEN (8-2) KC (5-5) OAK (4-6) SD (2-8)
NFC
NFC EAST
NYG (5-5) WAS (4-6) PHI (4-6) DAL (3-7)
NFC NORTH
MIN (7-3) GB (7-3) CHI (4-6) DET (2-8)
NFC South
CAR (10-0) ATL (6-4) TB (5-5) NO (4-6)
NFC WEST
ARZ (8-2) SEA (5-5) STL (4-6) SF (3-7)

AFC Teams who have a turkey stuck on their heads.

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  • Tennessee Titans (2-8) – Pray for Peyton Manning folks. It’s your best bet. (16th out of 16)
  • San Diego Chargers (2-7) – How funny would it be to see Philip Rivers and his brood of children all with turkeys on their head? Even if you were forced to look at it for as long as a football game you’d be better served than watching the Chargers play. (15th out of 16.)
  • Cleveland Browns (2-8) – No playoffs. No Johnny Football. Go watch Lebron Cleveland fans, nothing to see here. (14th of 16)
  • Baltimore Ravens (3-7) – What else can go wrong for the Ravens in 2015? I mean outside of their owner packing up in the middle of the night and moving them to a different city. (13th out of 16)

The AFC Team who are allergic to the playoffs, but just like smelling it because smelling it is like eating with your nose.

  • Miami Dolphins (4-6) – The NFL playoffs have happened every year since 2008 and the Dolphins haven’t made an appearance. Just when it looked like maybe, just possibly, they could sneak in, they blew a game to the Cowboys.(12th of 16)
  • Jacksonville Jaguars (4-6) – Just when the Jags start to make some progress and look like they can steal the division Matt Hasselbeck of the Colts and TJ Yates of the Texans ride in and save their team’s playoff hopes. If that isn’t an allergy to the playoffs I don’t know what is.(11th of 16)
  • Oakland Raiders (4-6) – They had their chance and they blew it by losing a couple of bad games in a row. The Chiefs resurrected themselves from the dead and have passed by the Raiders who have slipped back into world of teams allergic to the playoffs. (10th of 16)

The AFC Teams who are a playoff hopes rely on getting not getting sent to an empty parking lot for Thanksgiving dinner.

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  • New York Jets (5-5) – The defense has disappeared and so have most of the playoff hopes of for the Jets. They can still rebound, but they need Darrelle Revis to be Revis again and not the imposter he has been of late. (9th of 16)
  • Buffalo Bills (5-5)My Friend Craig doesn’t want to hear it, but the Bills are on the verge of playing their way out of the playoffs. While I didn’t expect them to beat the Pats, they sure didn’t play very well. (8th of 16)
  • Houston Texans (5-5) – Holy shit the the Texans are in the playoffs right now, and the way the defense is sticking around they could just stay here. You know how many teams had to stink for this to happen? I don’t either, but it’s a lot. (7th of 16)

The AFC Teams who aren’t recognizing the international symbol for touchdown, er playoffs.

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  • Kansas City Chiefs (5-5) – It’s a testament to the Chiefs that they have rallied back to become a defensive force and ball control offense. Now don’t go crazy betting on them in the playoffs, Andy Reid is still the coach, but a few short weeks ago they had no shot at the playoffs and now they are looking to overtake the division leading Broncos. (6th of 16).
  • Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4) – Another team who probably shouldn’t be here, but the rest of the AFC sucks and so consistent defense and great offense is enough. If they keep Ben healthy they have a wild card spot locked down. (5th of 16)
  • Indianapolis Colts (5-5) – Should they have been playing Matt Hasselbeck the whole time? It sort of looks like it doesn’t it? Maybe they couldn’t recognize the international symbol for starting QB. (4th of 16)

The AFC Teams who are ready for Thanksgiving dinner, but the playoffs don’t start til 4 o’clock in January.

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  • Denver Broncos (8-2) – The Bronco’s have to fear the Chiefs, but it will be very hard for them to completely lose a playoff spot now that it seems like Brock Osweiler can do what Peyton Manning couldn’t, keep the ball in Denver’s hands. (3rd of 16)
  • Cincinnati Bengals (8-2) – Nobody wants to get to the playoffs faster than the BEngals who just want to prove they can win there. The blew a game 2 weeks ago but rebounded well in Arizona. They should get back into the win column and stay there for a while this week. (2nd of 16)
  • New England Patriots (10-0) – Despite Tom Brady throwing the ball to guys coming out of the stands. Seriously, I’m a Patriots fan and i have no idea who Chris Harper is. Was his name even Chris Harper? Would Ben Harper be a better option? No idea, but it’s possible. (1st of 16)

NFC Teams whose playoff hopes I thoroughly examined and not only are they merely dead, they’re really most sincerely dead.

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  • Dallas Cowboys (3-7) – Tony I have a feeling we’re not in the playoff hunt anymore. (16th of 16)
  • San Francisco 49ers (3-7) – If they only had a brain for a head coach it wouldn’t help because they have no talent. (15th of 16)
  • Detroit Lions (3-7) – Ding Dong the playoffs are dead, whose playoffs? The Lions playoffs. (14th of 16)
  • Chicago Bears (4-6) – Bears, playoffs? OH MY NO! (13th of 16)
  • New Orleans Saints (4-6) – Because, because, because, because, becaaaaauuuuuuussssssseeeeee, because of the way they can’t play defense. (12th of 16)
  • Philadelphia Eagles (4-6) – Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain is Chip Kelly’s newest mantra as he tries to hide from the shitty players he has acquired and the Philly fans. (11th of 16)
  • St. Louis Rams (4-6) – Somewhere over the rainbow awaits Los Angeles and a new stadium filled with laid back fans.(10th of 16)

The NFC Teams who playoffs hopes want to know something about cranberry sauce.

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  • Washington Redskins (4-6) – I’ve got no idea what Indiana Jones was talking about with cranberry sauce and I have no idea if the Redskins have a real chance to get into the playoffs. (9th of 16)

The NFC Team whose playoffs appearances are one of the greatest traditions we have other than Thanksgiving Day football. And the biggest, most important tradition of all is the kicking off of the football.

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  • Seattle Seahawks (5-5) – “Isn’t it peculiar, Charlie Brown, how some traditions just slowly fade away?” The Seahawks we knew as a dominant playoff team are no more. (8th of 16)
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-5) – “There’s enough problems in the world already, Chuck, without these stupid misunderstandings.” Peppermint Patty had to be talking about the 2015 Bucs, right? I mean they aren’t supposed to be in the playoffs, but here they are. (7th of 16)
  • Atlanta Falcons (6-4) – “I don’t feel bad for myself. I just feel bad because I ruined everyone’s Thanksgiving.” Poor Chuck and the Falcons who have fallen like a stone the last few weeks. And they somehow dropped even during their bye, at least in my opinion. (6th of 16).
  • Minnesota Vikings (7-3) – “Let’s not play lover’s games, Chuck.” Like Peppermint Patty didn’t want Charlie Brown to toy with her heart, I don’t’ want the Vikings to toy with mine, be good and start winning games like last week’s against the Packers, or don’t, but stop pulling at my heart strings! (5rd of 16)
  • New York Giants (5-5) – “All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.” Charlie Brown and the Giants have a lot in common, except for the fact that they kicked the football twice recently in winning Super Bowls. So maybe that was stupid choice in general, but it feels at times they are extremely limited. (4th of 16)
  • Green Bay Packers (7-3) – “You can’t explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything.” Does Aaron Rodgers come off like Peppermint Patty to anyone else? (3th of 16)

The NFC Team who is in their first Thanksgiving/playoffs away from home. I mean, unless you count last year.

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  • Arizona Cardinals (8-2) – The Cardinals may be the best team in the NFC despite the Panthers being undefeated. (2nd of 16)

The NFC Team who celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

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  • Carolina Panthers (9-0) – The Panthers are celebrating wherever they play this season. With Cam Newton being healthy they are liberated from the backup QB problems of 2014 and have emerged to form a new Panthers, one that is taking no prisoners.(1st of 16)

Tomorrow the first chunk of the NFL:64 comes out! Remember to tweet @hookingfoul or email me HookingFoul@gmail.com or find Hooking Foul on Facebook!

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